Making Arrangements for a Funeral, Commonly known as The Burial of The Dead
Planning Ahead
Most people do not want to think about their own death, but as Christians, we are admonished to do just that. We are to be in a state of grace at all times, for death comes like a thief in the night—no one knows the day or the hour.
In the Book of Common Prayer, in the Office for the Visitation of the Sick, the priest is advised to:
“inquire of the sick person as to his acceptance of the Christian Faith, and as to whether he repent him truly of his sins, and be in charity with all the world; exhorting him to forgive from the bottom of his heart, all persons that have offended him; and if he hath offended any other, to ask them forgiveness; and where he hath done injury or wrong to any man, that he make amends to the uttermost of his power.” (BCP, p. 313)
This is how we should be striving, by God’s grace, to live every day.
Additionally, the Prayer Book states:
“The minister is ordered, from time to time, to advise the People, whilst they are in health, to make Wills arranging for the disposal of their temporal goods, and when of ability, to leave Bequests for religious and charitable uses.” (BCP, p. 320)
Although not affecting our salvation, this is a Christian responsibility, so that at our death our temporal affairs are not mired in probate, and our grieving relatives are not left anxious about discerning our intentions. It is an act of love and charity to make these arrangements before we die.
The Rites of the Church
Just as the Church—as the Body of Christ—is intimately tied to our sanctification through the sacraments of Baptism, Communion, Confirmation, Marriage and/or Ordination, and Reconciliation (also known as Confession), so too the Church is present at the time of our death, administering the sacrament of Unction.
It is a great comfort near the time of death to receive anointing, the opportunity for the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession), and Holy Communion. Please be sure to call the priest if you or a loved one is in imminent danger of death.
After death, you are entitled to the rites of the Church for your burial. These have evolved over time. It is preferable that you be buried by the Church, since it is the place where you began your Christian journey at the baptismal font and where the sacramental milestones of your life have been celebrated.
Requiem Communion Service
From the earliest days of the Church, it has been the tradition to have the burial service within the context of Holy Communion, as it is the tangible means by which we are united with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ—both in this life and in the life to come. The reception of the Sacrament of our Lord’s Body and Blood is an assurance of grace and a great comfort to those who mourn. This is the recommended form of service.
The Burial Office
Beginning on page 324 in the Book of Common Prayer, this simple service may be held at the funeral home or in the church. It is a relatively short liturgy and can be conducted with or without music.
Music
Will you or your family wish to hire our organist, or perhaps a quartet from our choir to lead the music? This is an expense that must be covered by the family. If so, you may also choose specific hymns—perhaps a favorite of yours or your family’s.
Burial or Cremation
The Church recognizes both burial and cremation as faithful Christian options, along with the donation of organs or the body for medical use and research.
Interment
Where would you like your remains to be placed? Burial or interment plots can be arranged in advance, including columbarium niches for ashes at St. John’s.
Expenses
We often hear distressing stories about funeral expenses. Making arrangements ahead of time with a funeral home can help prevent impulsive or guilt-driven overspending by loved ones. Remember: the most and least expensive caskets and vaults end up in the same place—unseen in the ground.
There is never a charge for the rites of the Church, though some people choose to make an offering.
Some church-related expenses do apply for a funeral. The suggested donation for use of the church is $100. An honorarium is also customary for the priest.
If music is included, expect a fee for the organist. If you desire a quartet from our professional choir, there will be a fee for the singers (subject to availability). Please contact the Church Office for current pricing.
Making This Known
All of these arrangements are of little use unless your family knows your wishes. The church is happy to keep a record of your preferences in our files for future reference. These may be superseded by instructions you later give to your family.
Below is a link to a form you may complete and keep with your records, or submit to the church for safekeeping.